This time around though I did have a dream about my up coming labour. I never had any dreams at all during my pregnancy with Jellybean about labour, or even related to being a parent or even children. I had this dream last Thursday night and I was so excited and partly scared. I wasn’t scared for the labour because in my dream everything went just fine. In my dream I went into labour Monday when I was exactly 36 weeks. Everything in my dream was routine, Littlebean was perfect and had no issues and weighed 6lb 8oz and didn’t spend any time in the NICU even though he was considered pre-term. Scary part was Marcus wasn’t here yet, and he missed it all. He couldn’t get a hold of us because we were at the hospital and I had to call and tell him over the phone that our son was born early and he missed it. The disappointment in his voice was heartbreaking. So long story short I wasn’t really scared about the labour but scared about going early and my husband not being here. Good news is Monday has come and past and no baby. Marcus comes this Saturday and I can’t wait to see him and be able to breath a sigh of relief that we are good to go at any time without the worry of him missing it.
It makes me wonder though if there is any truth to dreams. Obviously my dream wasn’t completely correct since I didn’t go into labour on Monday, but it makes me wonder if maybe in some way my subconscious was telling me that I will go into labour early. I was never one to push for going early. I never really complained about being pregnant until I was over due, and even then it was more of an impatience of wanting to meet my baby, not that I was uncomfortable. I truly believe that babies will come when they are ready, so if Littlebean decides to come early I’m OK with that too. I’m not OK however with it being before Marcus gets here, but after that it’s fair game.
The most amazing thing was actually seeing Littlebean’s face. He was so cute and amazing and it made we all the more excited to finally see him and meet him. He was perfect. I’m starting to get excited and nervous all that the same time as these last few weeks go by. I have a lot of emotions going on and I feel torn about being excited to meet my new Littlebean and feeling like I’m robbing Jellybean of attention and one on one time with Mommy. My whole life is about to be different. As excited as this new journey will be it’s also a little bit over whelming. I’m sort of taking it day by day and enjoying spending time with and spoiling Jellybean as much as I can before everything changes. Before I know it I’ll have 2 little boys to snuggle, read books to, give kisses and hug when they cry, and play with. I just hope I find the balance early and am able to sort of take it all in and enjoy it as it comes. Until then I’m good spoiling and spending quality time with Jellybean and dreaming about Littlebeans handsome little face, well at least until Marcus gets here. Please Littlebean just hold out until Daddy gets here!